Matters of the Heart
by SpokenFor
Summary: Jack is officially single, Sam having second thoughts, Martin giving Sam time and space. What's going to happen?
1. All I want is for you to be happy

My first Without A Trace fic. I recently fell in love with M/S and Without a Trace and there are just not enough M/S out there. Haha. So I figured I should write one.

This chapter isn't that great, but I promise it'll get better. I have the storyline and everything but I just couldn't think of a good way to start it and this is the best I've come up with. So just bear with me this chapter, ok? Thanks.

Disclaimer : Without a Trace belongs to CBS. I have nothing to do with them except watching the show and buying the dvd. Haha.

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Samantha and Martin sat in the cab in silence as they headed over to her place. Danny, Vivian, and Jack left the bar before them, so no one saw that they left together. The silence was deafening. Lack of word exchange allowed for thoughts that were overwhelming, given the night's events. 

Jack had invited the whole team for drinks after solving the Knowles case. He wanted to celebrate and thank us for our hard work. We had lots of fun, shared a lot of laughs, until Jack dropped a bombshell on us.

"_Maria and I are getting a divorce."_

No one knew what to say. Vivian, being the wisest, broke the awkward silence by offering her condolences. Martin and Danny followed her example. But Samantha was staring into space for a good minute before she did the same.

Martin knew she was thinking about Jack. He knew she was confused. Confused about her feelings. He could see it in her dark sunken eyes. His announcement made everything final…officially made himself available. Martin wasn't surprised at her reaction to the news. He came into this "relationship" or whatever one would call it, knowing full well that Samantha still had some feelings for Jack. He had thought that she would soon get over him, with Jack going to Chicago. But he didn't go to Chicago. He was staying in New York City and now he has just declared that he is single again.

He was falling in love with her. There was no doubt about it. He loved everything about her. From her silky blonde locks, her pouty lips, her tiny freckles, her smooth soft skin, to her gracefulness as she worked and her connection to the victims' family. Everything. He was falling, and he was falling hard.

He realized that he had to make a decision. He knew if they still stayed in this "relationship", it would only confuse her. She would never be able to know what she really wants. She would never ask for a break or anything because of the fear of hurting him. He knew that. Samantha Spade wouldn't hurt a fly. So he had to do it for her. Give her the space she needs to figure out what she wanted.

Martin paid the driver as the cab halted in front of Samantha's apartment. As they got out of the cab, Martin asked the driver to wait. At this, Samantha looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. Martin didn't say a word, but put his hand to the small of her back, and lead her to her apartment door.

"You're not coming up?"  
"Nope." He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and shrugged.  
"Why not?"

She looked up at him with the saddest eyes. Martin almost backed out from his plan. He didn't know how to break it to her. She was fragile at the moment and he couldn't bear the thought of breaking her. But it had to be done. A long minute passed and when she still didn't get an answer, she took a hold of his hand.

"Martin?" Sighing, he squeezed her hand a little. He looked down at his feet and started fidgeting a little bit.  
"Martin…" She insisted.  
"Listen…I…uhh…I think we should…you know…take it easy…for…" He cleared his throat. "uh…take, take it easy. For a while."

He felt her hand slowly lose its grip on his and drop to her side. They stood in silence. When he finally got the courage look up at her, he saw her looking donw on the floor just as he had.

"Sam…" He put a finger under her chin and pulled her head up so that she was looking at him. She held an emotionless expression, but his heart broke when he saw her beautiful brown eyes sad and tears that were beginning to brew.

"I lo…Sam, my feelings for you…they're so strong…I can't explain it. I've never felt this way about anyone before." Sigh. "I just don't think it fair, Sam. Not to me, not to Jack, and certainly not to you." He pauseda bit towatch her reaction, butwas faced with a confused expression.

"You don't know what you want, Samantha. And that's ok because I came into this knowing that you still harbor feelings for Jack…I just feel that if I'm around, you'll get confused about your feelings and make a choice out of obligation instead of your heart. I know my feelings for you will continue growing if we stay in this...this..relationship. And it just won't be fair to either of us if you're not happy. It wouldn't be fair to you or Jack. I don't want to be the one that comes in between the two of you being happy together. I couldn't live with that Sam. All I want is for you to be happy. It'd be great if I were the one to make you happy, but if Jack's the one that does that for you…then I'm glad. Just follow your heart Samantha. No one's going to hate you for it"

He ended his "speech" with the biggest lopsided smile he could put on in the situation. Martin didn't know what was going in her head. He didn't know if she was ecstatic or depressed. He really didn't. After a few minutes of standing there waiting for a reaction, he thought he should probably just leave. He started to step towards the awaiting cab, but didn't get two steps away when Samantha pulled him back by his arm and wrapped her arms around him. She burrowed her face into his neck. He didn't know what to do except hold her tight, for it may be the last time she would ever be in his arms.

She then stepped back and whispered, "Thank you, Martin, for being such a great guy. And I'm sorry,Martin,if I hurt you." "You're welcome. And don't worry about it Sam. Like I said, I just want you to be happy." With that, he once again started for the cab. Martin was about five feet away when he heard her call out. He turned and gave a small smile. He stepped into the, gave the driver his address uptown, and they sped away.  
_  
"Goodbye, Martin."_

He went to bed that night, restless. He tossed and turned the whole night, getting no sleep whatsoever. Her "goodbye" kept resounding inside his head and he couldn't help but think that it held more meaning. That it was not just goodbye for the day. But a goodbye from her life.

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And that was chapter one. Tell me what you guys think. 

Don't worry. It'll get better. At least I think it will.

Happy Thanksgiving!


	2. Early morning

Martin walked into the FBI bullpen with dark rings under his sullen eyes. He had gotten no sleep the previous night due to the heartbreaking scene that kept replaying in his head. He quickly hung his coat on the back of his chair and darted to the break room for some much needed coffee.

It was only 6:00am. Work didn't start until 8, but since he couldn't sleep, he figured he would come into work and do something productive like paperwork. It beat sitting at his apartment doing nothing but wallowing in self-pity.

Seeing as he was the first agent to arrive at to work, the coffee pot was empty. Frustrated, he quickly prepared a pot. As he was waiting, it suddenly hit him. How was he supposed to act around Samantha? How could he act normally around her when it pained him just to even think of her?

Sigh. "This is going to be a long day." The coffee was finally done and he went back to his desk and started on his paperwork.

When 7am came, Jack strolled into the bullpen and was definitely shocked to see Martin there. Jack was usually the first one to show for work.

"Hey Martin. Kind of early today, aren't we?"

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep. Figured I'd get some work done." Martin put on a small fake smile as he replied. He didn't really know what to say to the man that was stealing the heart of the one he loved.

"Right. Everything okay?" Jack asked with sincere concern in his voice. Other than his family, Danny, Vivian, Martin, and Samantha were the ones he cared about the most. The unit was like a family. They all took care of each other. And right now, Martin looked distraught.

"Yeah." Martin knew that Jack didn't believe him, but was glad that he dropped the subject and left for his office with a nod.

Jack started briefing them on a missing person after they all arrived. Throughout the briefing, Martin kept stealing glances at Samantha. One time, their eyes caught for two brief seconds, and the sadness in both their eyes were apparent. Jack split the team up and paired Martin and Samantha up to talk to the missing person's family.

The elevator ride down to the parking lot was hell. They were standing on opposite sides of the elevator. And the silence between them was deafening. They had no idea what to say to each other. They each had their hands in their respective coat pockets and Martin was rocking back and forth on the ball of his feet while Samantha leaned back against the wall. Both were staring at the floor and occasionally stole sideway glances at each other. When the elevator bell chimed and the doors opened to the parking lot, both sighed out a long and loud breath. A breath that neither realized they were holding in.

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Sorry for the really long wait, school's been hell. And yea, I know this chapter wasn't that productive, but oh well, it's just what I ended up writing. / 


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